Joy is Nested in the Comfort of Being with Yourself
Archive for May, 2010
Pride & Perfection – What I Stole From Japan Over An 11 Day Visit
May 23rd
That was a very memorable day. Travelling around Kyoto Japan has got to be one of the most satisfying experiences in life…and I have no proof for that other than what I selfishly felt. Clear blue skies, snow, a lovely temple garden and a few good mates to hang around with.
Perfect?…NOPE!
This is what I realised…contrary to the experiences I had as a free-spirited traveller, a large number of the Japanese people were not enjoying the beauty that they created within their own country (or that was there as a geographical circumstance). The long-work hours, the price of living and the strict aspects of asian culture.
Then coming back to work and settling into my local space in Australia, I realised it was no different. Life got so busy that I found it hard to recognise the large number of liberties my country had to offer, and that by no means came without sacrifice. It is sad that we have to escape or run away from our local surroundings in order to find some peace of mind.
So by the same argument, I flipped my perception to experience everyday in Sydney as if I was a traveller. Y’know, when you hit a new country More >
The Delusion called a Work-Life Balance
May 22nd
During the years of university, I studied Commerce (Finance)/ Engineering (Mechanical). During the 1st 2 years of this degree I fed my ego immensely because I thought it’d be piss easy to get a job at some Investment Banking Institution (technical/problem-solving backgrounds), get paid good $$ so I could chill out after 5 years of doing that….yeCH!
I was totally wrong my friend. Whilst it rang in perfect tune with my ego, it didn’t ring tune with the true person I am. See, I’m a Jovial person, and a loving son to wonderful parents. The goal I described earlier was actually a superficially masked solution to the fundamental desire in my heart…which was to have a Work-Life Balance.
My concept of a work-life balance is to be able to have the time and money to spend with my friends and loved ones….and in a stress-free mode. I thought the banking institution would let me do that because I could save enough, live comfortably in a nice home and chill out on an ordinary salary. But what I realised was that I was being impatient about the whole game plan, and if I kept on that path my life could look like this:
- I More >
Most People Consider Themselves Generous…So What Are They Giving?
May 20th
ADVICE! =)
People are never out of advice which is great because you get to see things from different perspectives. So I suppose, if you’re open to it, any advice is really valuable. But typically, we get much too much than what we ask for and it turns out that seeing too much of your favourite color makes it look black and white (I know, I can be quite presumptuous).
The ability to be a giving person is generally perceived as a good thing. However, in the case of advice it may be a totally different story. In fact, with advice, the giving happens when you open yourself to receiving it.
Alot of the times, people give advice because they believe there is something of value in their world that they’d love for you to have. If you give it an ear, its like letting the other individual know that they have made a difference to your life.
Of course, the key is being genuine about it…. haha Cheers,
J
Awkward Silence – Why Lots of Great Leaders Are Afraid to Talk to YOU
May 19th
Awkward to think considering most of us find it uncomfortable, or feel ourselves to be quite the nuisance when approaching senior staff, espescially those within the rangs of Division Heads, Principals and even Regional CEOs. I mean, if I don’t catch myself I find that I start talking and acting differently in their prescence because of those in-grained pre-conceptions….which is FAIR ENOUGH. Why I say that?…hmm..lets see:
- I’m a fresh graduate in a global firm, with not much corporate experience (note corporate) so why would I just simply talk to a big gun like I do to my neihbour..”howdy”.
- I’m new, I could say one wrong thing and get a lot of people pissed off, they may become overly judgemental to all my following actions and my life at work would be hell … “how disrespectful…did you see the way he talked to the boss? You’d think he’d have the wits to have a bit more decency“. I know! And all you might have asked the dude(ette) is “Hey! So tell me, what IS it that you DO?” [Enthusiastic tone]. Now I am not sure, but I seriously do not see a link (with absolute certainty) between that question and decency.
- So you say hi More >
Don’t Know What it is You Want to Do? – Liar! =p
May 17th
Truth is, I had the same thing rolling through my head till I realised that the real question subconsciously stirring was “I don’t know what I have to do to get there”.
Its almost humorous in a sense because I’m sure most people want one or more of the following which aren’t easy to come by:
- A nice house that you can personally design, furnish etc…
- To start a family and nurture some lovely kids to fend for themselves
- To spend years travelling to become a worldy person and learning multiple languages
- To be able to enjoy the surf at the beach and chat with friends over a nice coffee/lunch
- To be able to just chill out with friends and take care of your parents as they grow older without being tied down by your job
See, when we think of the possibility that we could be able to do that, it really sits well in the tummy…mmm mmm. So we most likely know what we want to do and experience… but the whole “I dont know what I want to do” is almost a excuse for shying away from the multitude of tasks you have to deal with to get there. This would normally including becoming more than More >
The Life that I Do Not Wish Upon Anyone
May 17th
Okay, so you’re a young professional and success is a near inevitability for someone with your talent and drive. Some would agree, that this is a fair path for which you can tread to get to the top:
1) Do what you’re told, and sometimes what you’re not (although it is informally implied) to stand out when you’re a young-gun learning the ropes.
2) You get promoted to an intermediary level and your responsibilities go through the roof. You deal with the pressures of it and come out exceeding expectations from your seniors.
3) Few years down the line, the older blokes/blokesses drop out and they start you on leadership development and shove a million training courses down your throat (on top of your huge to do list because you’re one of the experienced ones now) so you can step up to the task of being a Division Head.
4) You get kids and you find you’re working passionately and endlessly to provide for the best for them
….How SHIT! Nonetheless, very honourable but I believe there is a better way and I do not mean to defame those who have done the above because with all due respect, I can imagine it’d take a hell lot of effort More >
Poverty – I Took Three Pieces of Candy and Ate them One by One
May 17th
So y’know, I’m with a group of people and a tray of lollies come our way. I take a look at the stash, and I get the feeling that there is seriously not enough for everyone to have. So what do I do? I stock up three, two in the pocket for later and one in my mouth. Joe over there (not really his name, I just made it up) didn’t get one. Aww…
Big Whoop Right?
Yes indeed! What I just did is become a part of a large number of thought processes that are creating poverty worldwide today. The fear of scarcity in society is the very fear that materialises the possibility of scarcity. See, I thought there weren’t enough lollies to go around, and in doing so I took more than one (hoarding) and the result…someone actually did miss out! When in actuality, Joe coulda been happy and so could I.
Its quite amazing how many of the world’s problems we are trying to solve at a large scale, when the little thoughts from which they are derived slip right under our noses…
The very fear of a possibility makes it an inevitability
Makes sanitising our thought processes a very worth-while exercise More >
Question over a Coffee – How do you actually meet more people…genuinely?
May 17th
This is an interesting question. I’ve never really articulated an answer to this and thank you to that cool friend who asked me this. Two mentors taught me some very important things years ago (on the cusp of 2003 and 2004…clear as ever!):
1) “Drop the Ego and Get over Yourself” -
2) “Jon, spend more time being Interested in People rather than looking Interesting”
Both pretty much hit the same spot. Till this day, after deadly struggling (and still timelessly battling it) with the ego and insecurities of my life I think I came up with an answer. Most of the times, the thoughts that circled my head before meeting or interacting with people would be something of the following:
- Is my hair right? I hope I’m dressed well enough so that they don’t judge me too strongly.
- I’m not a tall guy, people don’t respect short guys… I hate it when they look down on me
- I’m afraid that they’ll find me awkward and weird for simply talking with them
- What if they don’t smile back? I want reciprocation…me me me
- Who looks like an easy target to talk to?
But here is what I realised. Those were all stupid probable illusions in my own head. More >
The famous human door to Illusion…”WHY?”
May 16th
You’re probably asking WHY right? Those crazy question marks! The purpose of this post is exactly that! How do you find your WHY! The reason for which we wake up everyday with zest in order to pursue a reality we’re responsible for. My answer is, I truly do not know.
So Jon, WHY are you posting this then? haha… well I don’t know the answer however I do know of a few considerations that you may or may not find of interest, but its worth a read to figure =)
a) I believe we all want and like to live life by birthright, from the start, a baby fights to catch his/her first breathe of fresh air!
b) I believe, we all live and treasure something special, whether its the love between you and another individual, family, friends etc…, whether its travelling, the arts, reading, music, sailing, movies…
c) I believe, that your life, everyone’s life…is invaluable! Forget the cliched aspect of the comment. But metaphorically speaking, suppose some awesome force said to you! ‘Here is a wallet for your soul (i.e. your human body), and here is life force (i.e. the cash equiv) and I’d like you to go chill out on earth More >
What an Accountant & Engineer talked about on their Lunch Break
May 16th
So I’m wrapping up a document before lunch-time 12:30pm, dead smack in the middle of a hectic week. Don’t ask me why, but I just randomly thought “Man, haven’t caught up with Ee as promised in our email correpondence”. Man Jon, can’t you keep your word? … So I email the guy to restore the possibility of a catch up which was well drifting away, and last minute we decide to meet at the open-to-air food court…blue skies, cool breeze, same ol disconnected 9-5 crowd that you get in the CBD. I had a baguette, Ee brought his own lunch and the conversation that followed brought about the following about work-life:
1) Autonomy is key – We both work in global corporations and sometimes find it hard to express all our creativity given the tight spaces within a typical company. See, we’re both of the belief that to seriously take your work profession to the next level, somehow…sometime…you have to learn to run your own business. In fact, thats exactly what we have been exploring with our spare time. Reason? It is an awesome platform to develop self-accountability, discipline, leadership and anything you can name on the cliched front of biz. More >